Alternative lifestyle cut?

Okay, so, umm. I get mistaken for straight a lot.
How is this? Sure, I'll wear a dress, but for gods sake, I wear a thumb rings, button ups, and Doc Martens practically everyday. It's my hair right? My super curly shoulder length girly hair? It cancel out my gay vibes! Do I need this so called Alternative lifestyle haircut to alert the ladies? Because my hair is not gonna do it. The second my hair is cut shorter than six inches, I turn into Shirley Temple. Only not as cute.
ALC's call for thick to medium length straight/wavy hair. I have really thick frizzy-ish curls. I have to wash my hair every other day, otherwise it is turns into a 'fro. Not a real lady attracter.
So, do I shave the side or something? Bleach it? Shave it? How do I reach luscious short locks, elegantly swept to the side? I probably don't, unless my hair miraculously tames itself. This lady magnet seems to be just beyond my reach. Along with an uncooperative hairdresser ("No, I said shorter in the back!"), it seems I'm just going to have to resign to groups of Justin Bieber clones winking at me and groups of hot girl's muttering amongst themselves "Forget it, she's straight."
Stupid hair.